it's been six years since you killed yourself. tonight, many of us went out to celebrate k's birthday and mine. at some point, a song you loved came over the rainbo's sound system and conversation turned to you. i can think logically and know that you did what you did out of pure, abject pain. that you were not in a rational mind when you did it. but you know what? part of me is still really, really pissed at you and probably will always be so. i can recognize that my anger comes from sadness, perhaps a measure of guilt that none of us saw it coming. but there it is, just the same.
i love you, i miss you and when i see you again you better duck, fucker.