that sounded really childish and cold when i read it this morning, so it's gone now.
e. is pushing me for a more "serious" relationship and i am pushing him away for reasons that are not entirely clear even to me.
any relationship demands clear communication, and e. and i have that. but i don't like constantly being questioned about how i feel, where i think the relationship is going, etc. etc. my brain doesn't work that way. yes, you need to give such things some thought. but if you do it too much, the relationship will never go anywhere. you have to let things happen, not constantly worry about what will be.
i'm still not quite communicating my feelings here but this is closer.