while i was walking back from the pool this morning i had the sudden thought that a lot of my recent misery stems from the fact that i know i am going to have to hurt someone's feelings soon.
e. has really been pushing me into a corner lately, on purpose i think. i am not in love with him. i love him and i want to be with him in whatever capacity seems to work for us but it is not, in my mind or my heart, a life-changing relationship.
i have been on both sides of this situation and i think i feel more comfortable being in e.'s position than mine. i don't like causing pain for other people. this is going to suck.