i feel that some things which perhaps helped me in the short run are due to fall away...may in fact be falling away at this moment...and that's all right.
my life and the people in it always, always end up being very segmented. i'm sure there's a subconscious element of intention in this that would give a seasoned psychiatrist nightmares. but it generally works better for me this way, so fuck it.
i am feeling very detached from anything close to my "normal" life or routines. i feel suspended somehow. like the intangible thing i've felt building up may be about to reveal itself. i hope so.
also, last night i dreamt of my own funeral, something i've never done -- even when i was hellaciously sick with cancer the first time 'round. cheery.