Last night I suddenly felt so sad...Accepting that things are out of your hands is calming on one level but it requires a lot of denial on another and I guess that caught up with me. It's fairly easy to be accepting or outwardly nonchalant because sometimes that's all you can do. Ah, but it's those unspoken emotions that will get you every time...
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This morning I have a fever, so that may have had something to do with feeling so low. I don't want to be sick this weekend. I've got some monastery-ing to do.
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The people I was with last night were talking about what they look for in men/women -- I have never in my life had a conscious thought about that and it makes me wonder if I'm strange. It seems to me if you just leave yourself open, the right people will come to you... We all have personal preferences but to approach every potential friend or lover with an agenda has always struck me as limiting. But here I am alone so what the hell do I know?
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Are you all enjoying these long, navel-gazing entries I'm writing lately? I thought not. I guess I don't feel very entertaining or funny these days...
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I'm going back to bed now.