Creepy Cat People. [ 2003-04-22, 10:49 p.m. ]

Okay, say you had neighbors whom you didn't know well, but seemed fairly normal. Say these neighbors came to you and told you they were leaving for two weeks and by the way could you feed their cat while they're gone? So far, no problem, right?

Now, imagine you go to the neighbors' the night before they leave so they can "go over a few things" with you. You assume they want to show you where the cat food and litter box are kept, correct?

WRONG. If they're my neighbors, they hand you a typed, two-page list of instructions for this cat's care. Included are such things as the following: (quoted verbatim)

"At least twice a week, please come and spend an hour or two with Fluffy. If one of the days is Sunday, we will pay for your Sunday paper; you can stay here and read it. If you sit in the rocking chair in the kitchen, Fluffy will climb up with you; this will allow Fluffy her lap time for the week."

"If you see that Fluffy has knocked papers off the desk in the front office (she often shows her displeasure this way), gently carry her into the office, show her the papers and firmly tell her 'No, no'. This will let her know that even though we are not home, she is to behave."

God help me, this is the absolute truth.

thisaway - thataway

0 comments so far
navigate
current
profile
recently crappy
last year's crap
older crap
still crappy
the crappiest
read a random entry
guestbook
email
c.2001-2006 LAS
host
design