It occurs to me that I've been under some stress in the past month, due to being in a completely new environment (which has mostly been good for me) and having to deal with a lot of new people (which is where the stress comes in). I have said this before: I am shy. Paralyzingly so. I have learned to cover this and can be social but it is a huge stress on me. Example: S. and I went to see Toni Price the other night and ran into a guy he used to work with. The guy invited us back to his apt. between sets and I felt uncomfortable the whole time we were there.
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S. is the only person I really know here so everyone I am meeting is a friend or acquaintance of his and I am "the girlfriend". S.'s friends have been pleasant but they are his friends, old friends in many instances, and I am the newcomer. I have no history with any of these folks. I also tend to be very guarded and private, especially around people I don't know and this has already led to some misunderstandings between S. and I.
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I am about to start the job search in earnest and I think I am going to go for a teaching job, which will pay less but will also be less isolating than a nanny position. I need to establish some autonomy. I can alter that part of the equation. The shyness thing is just going to suck ass and cause me the same problems it has always caused me...and I cannot tell you how depressing that is.
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