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S. is proving to be a calm island in my storm of wedding tension. He is very good at reminding me what's important in all of this...
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S. and I had planned to pay for the wedding ourselves - "tradition" dictates that the bride's parents shoulder the wedding expenses but we are self-sufficient enough that I really didn't think this was necessary. My mom thinks otherwise. She called my dad this week to ask him how they should split the expenses. My dad's response was to tell her that he didn't think he needs to pitch in. Bad move, Dad. My mom is now on a campaign to get my dad to fulfill his "obligation" to me (an obligation I don't think he has...) and the shit has hit the fan. Yippee. I think my mom is hellbent on getting my dad to "be" a dad in some (in her head, anyway), basic sense. I know she feels like we have all been cheated by his drinking and emotional distance (again, something I don't necessarily agree with) and she is not going to let him shirk what she sees as his responsibility to me.
When I spoke with her last night, I kept reminding my mom that S. and I are more than able to pay for this ourselves and that I wish she would spare herself the aggravation of dealing with my increasingly irrational (and nasty) dad...My mom put up with a lot from him and shouldered most of the parenting responsibilities herself and I think she just feels like he shouldn't get off easy somehow. I dunno...This is her battle. I am staying the hell out of it although I can almost guarantee I'll get an obnoxious phone call from my father tonight...which (thank you, inventor of caller ID) I'll let the voice mail handle.
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On a happier note, my very cool niece arrives today for a week-long visit; I start a 10-day vacation (already! paid! I love my job!) this Friday and things are generally swell.
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