i really, really don't want to turn this into a place where i come and whine and share the real world stuff. but every now and then, it's going to creep in and that's that.
i need to:
1. realize that the inherent isolation of my situation can be a good thing and approach it as such.
2. stop avoiding the decisions i must make to stay alive.
3. turn to the things and people that i know can comfort and help me through this - let them see how scared i am.
4. get over it and get through it. in that order.
nighty night.