...that someone as proficient as I am at writing grant proposals should be able to write one for her own gain.
Dear Random Wealthy Person,
Hi, it's me, Lass. Would you please deposit several hundred thousand dollars into my bank account? You see, I would like to quit my job and travel for a year and I just don't have the resources to do that on my own. In return, I promise you a year's worth of the world's cheesiest postcards (with monkeys on them whenever possible).
So share the wealth. You KNOW I'll be more grateful than those damn kids of yours...Incidentally, I think I heard them plotting against you in the garden shed...why don't you stick it to them and give ME your fortune before they have you killed in an unfortunate polo "accident"?
Your pal,
Lass